Eng 319 blog

Memoir Final Draft

Katie March

Dr. A

Eng 319

WC: 1,564

A Young Writer’s Journey

            The pinnacle of my high-school writing career began during the winter of my junior year. I was home during my school’s winter break and was disappointed that the vast majority of my friends were traveling to tropical vacations and I was stuck in Fort Collins. With the typical dramas of high school having occurred during the previous semester, I was left to my thoughts about unfair coaches, conniving friends and heartless boys. I had had innumerable fights with my parents about minor things such as driving and curfew. I felt that my cheerleading coach possessed an unreasonable grudge against me. Several of my supposed friends had formed a vendetta against me for unknown reasons. And the boy for whom I felt undying affection barely recognized me in the hallway. I was neither depressed nor unhappy, but I felt that in order to bring a sense of balance and understanding I should write a short story that dealt both with the kind of issues I was facing as well as larger issues that I had grown to understand.

As I sat at my ancient computer, trying to drown out the screams of my sisters as they argued over who would get the first shower, I began to collect my thoughts. It was slightly intimidating as I stared at my blank document, hoping that a suitable introduction to my story, or even an inspired title, would formulate in my mind. I slowly began to tell the story of Jennifer, a 17-year-old girl who lived in suburban St. Louis. She was a conflicted and confused young woman who was being perpetually pushed by her mother to follow in her businesswoman footsteps. She had troubles with fitting in with her friends at school, was terrified around the opposite sex, and had few people she could confide in. She felt as though she was betraying her parents by wishing to be a photographer. Slowly, she built a friendship with a shy black boy named Teddy. She and Teddy discussed life and the choices all people must make. The story ends with the two of them running away, going to Mexico in order to fulfill their dreams.

            While this story was not a piece of great or revolutionary literature, it gave me more confidence in my writing than I had ever possessed before. I felt that my writing had achieved a level where I could effectively communicate with those around me, and that I could use writing as an outlet for my emotions. I can only hope that as I progress through my life that my writing will continue to serve me as a way to express myself. And while I may not want to be a best-selling author or a professional writer, being able to communicate with fellow human beings is a skill that transcends jobs or affiliations.

Looking back at my inspirations, I realize that this moment in my writing “career” never would have occurred if I hadn’t read my favorite novel, J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye the semester before I wrote my short story. Salinger presented an amazing work of art which showed me that writing did not have to follow such strict rules. Only through this epiphany was I able to channel my true writer’s instinct and begin my path towards becoming a quality writer allowing myself to think more freely and enjoy writing. Prior to reading Catcher in the Rye, I felt that all writing had to be rigidly constructed in the form of classical, romantic or Victorian writing. Literature seemed dry and indecipherable, with flowery words hiding the message of the work. Catcher in the Rye, on the other hand, writes directly and about matters that seemed important and real to me. The blunt, crass writing of Salinger also grabbed my attention and kept me interested, unlike the other required school readings which I thought were boring and inconsequential to my teenage life. Lines such as, “Goddamn money. It always ends up making you blue as hell,” in chapter 15 and “I was half in love with her by the time we sat down.  That's the thing about girls.  Every time they do something pretty, even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are ” in chapter 10 made me relate to Holden Caulfield.[1] Salinger’s portrayal of things such as prostitution, underage drinking and depression amazed and enthralled me, allowing me to understand Holden’s suffering. These exciting words, unlike anything I had ever read before, made me want to write about things that would keep others interested, like Salinger’s words had kept me.

Since reading Catcher in the Rye, I have grown to appreciate other books and readings, such as the classic works of Byron, Wilde and Homer, but during my formative writing years it was the work of Salinger which kept my interest in literature. The up-front and critical writing style used in the book, placing the main character, Holden Caulfield, in situations which any teenager can relate, amazed me and captivated my attention. And while few teenagers choose a similar path to Caulfield’s, the book provides a unique viewpoint to the human soul. It was this style which intrigued me and allowed me to advance my style and become a writer who could express my thoughts clearly and concisely. To date, I continue to strive to make my writing straight-forward and understandable, trying to eliminate fluff and flower so readers can understand what I am trying to convey.

It wasn’t until I read this book that I decided to create my short story about Jennifer and St. Louis.  I wanted to create my own work of fiction which illustrated both the trials and tribulations of a teenager, and that attempted to bring more subtle issues such as race, class and gender into its pages. Similarly to the important issues tackled in my new-found inspiration, I wanted to discuss issues that were important to me and controversial. Salinger’s rambling and seemingly digressing thoughts flowed so well for me, and I could only dream and aspire to write with such amazing ability, but I knew that I could attain a goal of tackling controversial issues. With the world of writing newly opened to my teenage self, I looked to my own experiences for motivation. I started by keeping a journal to collect my thoughts and refine my writing. I had never had any kind of regard for literary rules, frequently misusing simple writing rules such as affect and effect, whether and weather and my most difficult demon to conquer, anxious and eager. In addition, my punctuation and misuse of apostrophes marred my writing and made clutter and inconsistency commonplace. I also continue to have problems with, and will probably never fully defeat my enemy the comma splice. In my story, I aimed to achieve both of the tasks that I envied and admired Salinger for so flawlessly completely. Although I know the writing was no where near impeccable or as enthralling, I tried to tackle issues which, looking back, are still controversial and important.

            Through my years of high school and higher education, as I continue to strive towards literary achievement, my writing has slowly begun to improve. However, it has taken a lot of work and dedication to reach the level I currently write. I used to stay behind after class and receive my teacher’s criticisms and suggestions. My father, a lawyer with a penchant for writing, has helped refine my style, reading my essays and personal writings and offering his suggestions and advice. My journal entries began to delve past my thoughts of the day, problems with boys, and frustrations with my parents. I started to muse about deeper meanings of life. Thoughts about religion, politics and human interaction began to fill both my mind and my journal. The way in which I wrote slowly transformed, I began to use a much more objective and academic style, and instinctively correct the previous flaws in my writing.

Through my journey as a writer, I have begun to prefer writing history papers and scholarly works, which are entirely in the third person, to a personal paper or my former desire, short stories. This transformation occurred, indirectly, because of the inspiration for writing Salinger gave me. In attempting to become a writer of his magnitude, I realized my newfound ability and interest in inserting my opinion into a paper which did not ask for my personal belief. I enjoy arguing a point in a scholarly manner without inserting unsubstantiated opinions, which are placed in first-person, into my work. I continue to enjoy writing about controversial issues, like my most recent work on the Civil Rights Movement, a piece I wrote for a government institution about how sometimes it can be necessary to break the law to achieve equality and freedom. I attribute my gutsiness and desire to write about new information and controversy to the fire lit inside me by Salinger’s work, as well as my love of expression and writing. Without reading The Catcher in the Rye I would not be the writer I am today because I would not have found the inspiration to practice my writing and develop my abilities into what they are today.