Looking at your blog I see a lot of improvement. When I look at your first paper I feel like you wrote very safely, your paper is correct grammatically and it follows the correct format. However, I think that your second paper begins to show that you are becoming more comfortable with the class and are willing to take a more controversial side of an argument. Your memoir was my favorite thing to read out of your entire blog (potentially because I have already read your second paper). I really enjoyed how you made the assignment your own and didn't write about some moment in your life that has vaulted importance simply because of the requirements of your paper. I think that you really showed through your paper what you have been talking about this entire class, confidence and creativity. I think that this paper is a great end to your writing in this class and shows your improvment. I've really enjoyed having you in class with me and I think that you're going to make a great poet, make sure you give me a signed copy of your book. :)

David-

      It is really obvious the change in your work through your blog. Even just looking at your About Me, a few short sentences without much content, and your first paper, discussing your frustration with poor teachers (although the final was a big improvement on the draft), I feel like you didn't really care much about the first couple of assignments. While following the requirements, the entries seem a little dull and aren't what I'm used to seeing of your work in the recent weeks in class. But, your last two papers, which I have attested to through editing, are some of my favorite pieces I've read all semester (especially your second paper). I really enjoying reading your work, especially when you open up and show your creativity and inventiveness. I think you're an excellent writer and your improvement has shown through this class.

Ian-

     I thought you also did a great job on your blog. I am impressed with the changes you have made in your writing style and the voice you use in your work.  I love your skills at creative writing and am envious of your ability to tell a story and grab the attention of the reader. I love how you took more risks in your second paper and didn't follow the same format that most of the other students in our class did. Your memoir was, again, the most interesting thing I read out of your blog. I loved how personal you were and the way you made jokes and used sarcasm more than you did in your other two papers. I really enjoy reading your work and i think that this course helped you to improve by giving you the confidence to use your voice.

Evaluation of my blog- 

    So... It's kind of rough to evaluate my own work. I think that I worked equally hard on all of the papers and assignments and I can't pinpoint anything I specifically changed between assignments. I think that in reading the memoir I can tell that I am (trying to) take risks by allowing myself to do as much "creative writing" as I feel comfortable with. I also enjoy that in my first paper I make no jokes, use only rigid grammar rules and stick to a format that I am comfprtable with. But, in my second two papers, especially my second paper, I feel like I take a few more risks and allow myself to play around with style and voice. I think that this class was a good experience for me to expand my view of academic writing and i learned a lot through the reading and editing process, I may try to apply some of these concepts to my history papers and try to make my writing a little bit more fun, something that still (even with my improvement) scares me greatly.

Dr. A

Eng 319

WC: 1,564

A Young Writer’s Journey

            The pinnacle of my high-school writing career began during the winter of my junior year. I was home during my school’s winter break and was disappointed that the vast majority of my friends were traveling to tropical vacations and I was stuck in Fort Collins. With the typical dramas of high school having occurred during the previous semester, I was left to my thoughts about unfair coaches, conniving friends and heartless boys. I had had innumerable fights with my parents about minor things such as driving and curfew. I felt that my cheerleading coach possessed an unreasonable grudge against me. Several of my supposed friends had formed a vendetta against me for unknown reasons. And the boy for whom I felt undying affection barely recognized me in the hallway. I was neither depressed nor unhappy, but I felt that in order to bring a sense of balance and understanding I should write a short story that dealt both with the kind of issues I was facing as well as larger issues that I had grown to understand.

As I sat at my ancient computer, trying to drown out the screams of my sisters as they argued over who would get the first shower, I began to collect my thoughts. It was slightly intimidating as I stared at my blank document, hoping that a suitable introduction to my story, or even an inspired title, would formulate in my mind. I slowly began to tell the story of Jennifer, a 17-year-old girl who lived in suburban St. Louis. She was a conflicted and confused young woman who was being perpetually pushed by her mother to follow in her businesswoman footsteps. She had troubles with fitting in with her friends at school, was terrified around the opposite sex, and had few people she could confide in. She felt as though she was betraying her parents by wishing to be a photographer. Slowly, she built a friendship with a shy black boy named Teddy. She and Teddy discussed life and the choices all people must make. The story ends with the two of them running away, going to Mexico in order to fulfill their dreams.

            While this story was not a piece of great or revolutionary literature, it gave me more confidence in my writing than I had ever possessed before. I felt that my writing had achieved a level where I could effectively communicate with those around me, and that I could use writing as an outlet for my emotions. I can only hope that as I progress through my life that my writing will continue to serve me as a way to express myself. And while I may not want to be a best-selling author or a professional writer, being able to communicate with fellow human beings is a skill that transcends jobs or affiliations.

Looking back at my inspirations, I realize that this moment in my writing “career” never would have occurred if I hadn’t read my favorite novel, J.D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye the semester before I wrote my short story. Salinger presented an amazing work of art which showed me that writing did not have to follow such strict rules. Only through this epiphany was I able to channel my true writer’s instinct and begin my path towards becoming a quality writer allowing myself to think more freely and enjoy writing. Prior to reading Catcher in the Rye, I felt that all writing had to be rigidly constructed in the form of classical, romantic or Victorian writing. Literature seemed dry and indecipherable, with flowery words hiding the message of the work. Catcher in the Rye, on the other hand, writes directly and about matters that seemed important and real to me. The blunt, crass writing of Salinger also grabbed my attention and kept me interested, unlike the other required school readings which I thought were boring and inconsequential to my teenage life. Lines such as, “Goddamn money. It always ends up making you blue as hell,” in chapter 15 and “I was half in love with her by the time we sat down.  That's the thing about girls.  Every time they do something pretty, even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are ” in chapter 10 made me relate to Holden Caulfield.[1] Salinger’s portrayal of things such as prostitution, underage drinking and depression amazed and enthralled me, allowing me to understand Holden’s suffering. These exciting words, unlike anything I had ever read before, made me want to write about things that would keep others interested, like Salinger’s words had kept me.

Since reading Catcher in the Rye, I have grown to appreciate other books and readings, such as the classic works of Byron, Wilde and Homer, but during my formative writing years it was the work of Salinger which kept my interest in literature. The up-front and critical writing style used in the book, placing the main character, Holden Caulfield, in situations which any teenager can relate, amazed me and captivated my attention. And while few teenagers choose a similar path to Caulfield’s, the book provides a unique viewpoint to the human soul. It was this style which intrigued me and allowed me to advance my style and become a writer who could express my thoughts clearly and concisely. To date, I continue to strive to make my writing straight-forward and understandable, trying to eliminate fluff and flower so readers can understand what I am trying to convey.

It wasn’t until I read this book that I decided to create my short story about Jennifer and St. Louis.  I wanted to create my own work of fiction which illustrated both the trials and tribulations of a teenager, and that attempted to bring more subtle issues such as race, class and gender into its pages. Similarly to the important issues tackled in my new-found inspiration, I wanted to discuss issues that were important to me and controversial. Salinger’s rambling and seemingly digressing thoughts flowed so well for me, and I could only dream and aspire to write with such amazing ability, but I knew that I could attain a goal of tackling controversial issues. With the world of writing newly opened to my teenage self, I looked to my own experiences for motivation. I started by keeping a journal to collect my thoughts and refine my writing. I had never had any kind of regard for literary rules, frequently misusing simple writing rules such as affect and effect, whether and weather and my most difficult demon to conquer, anxious and eager. In addition, my punctuation and misuse of apostrophes marred my writing and made clutter and inconsistency commonplace. I also continue to have problems with, and will probably never fully defeat my enemy the comma splice. In my story, I aimed to achieve both of the tasks that I envied and admired Salinger for so flawlessly completely. Although I know the writing was no where near impeccable or as enthralling, I tried to tackle issues which, looking back, are still controversial and important.

            Through my years of high school and higher education, as I continue to strive towards literary achievement, my writing has slowly begun to improve. However, it has taken a lot of work and dedication to reach the level I currently write. I used to stay behind after class and receive my teacher’s criticisms and suggestions. My father, a lawyer with a penchant for writing, has helped refine my style, reading my essays and personal writings and offering his suggestions and advice. My journal entries began to delve past my thoughts of the day, problems with boys, and frustrations with my parents. I started to muse about deeper meanings of life. Thoughts about religion, politics and human interaction began to fill both my mind and my journal. The way in which I wrote slowly transformed, I began to use a much more objective and academic style, and instinctively correct the previous flaws in my writing.

Through my journey as a writer, I have begun to prefer writing history papers and scholarly works, which are entirely in the third person, to a personal paper or my former desire, short stories. This transformation occurred, indirectly, because of the inspiration for writing Salinger gave me. In attempting to become a writer of his magnitude, I realized my newfound ability and interest in inserting my opinion into a paper which did not ask for my personal belief. I enjoy arguing a point in a scholarly manner without inserting unsubstantiated opinions, which are placed in first-person, into my work. I continue to enjoy writing about controversial issues, like my most recent work on the Civil Rights Movement, a piece I wrote for a government institution about how sometimes it can be necessary to break the law to achieve equality and freedom. I attribute my gutsiness and desire to write about new information and controversy to the fire lit inside me by Salinger’s work, as well as my love of expression and writing. Without reading The Catcher in the Rye I would not be the writer I am today because I would not have found the inspiration to practice my writing and develop my abilities into what they are today.

NEED ENDING, SOMETHING ABOUT MY CURRENT WRITING STYLE?

English 319

Dr. Sarah Allen

Word Count: 1,141

Too Much Self

It is obvious by the stress writers, professors, and readers put on the subject of voice that it is very important to the creation of interesting, attention-grabbing writing. Although everyone agrees that voice is essential, the concept of voice can often be confusing and indefinable. It is difficult to decide what voice is, where voice is learned, and what constitutes a good voice. Voice is what makes writing interesting, the word choice, syntax, and sentence structure a writer chooses to use is what grabs the reader’s attention and holds it.

 Writer’s voices vary based upon their field of study, their personality, and the way they were taught to write. Style not only varies between writers but also between the different works of an individual author. A well-rounded, adept writer should be able to change their writing to appeal to their audience. In the following section I will imitate a section of Harry G. Frankfurt’s book On Truth. I will imitate the same piece twice using two completely different voices proving that the same writer can use multiple voices.

Imitation #1

            Spinoza’s believes that, a person has an intimate attachment to the objects that are believed to be the cause of their contentment without causing the loss or compromise of their fundamental nature. Frankfurt agrees with Spinoza’s assessment, he adheres to these ideals believing that people love the objects which help them find their sense of self. According to Spinoza, a person therefore will attempt to protect and maintain these objects upon which they bestow their love to further their happiness. 

Imitation #2

            People love what makes them happy (duh). We’ll do anything to keep being happy, so we watch over these people, things, or even thoughts and keep them safe. We know which things we love because they make us who we are inside and make us special. We also try to keep these things near us so they can make us happy all the time. The guy who thought of these ideas, Spinoza, seems to be pretty smart, Frankfurt thinks so too.

            The two imitations above are completely different; one has a conversational tone the other an academic tone. Both paragraphs have the same content but appeal to completely different audiences. The two voices I used both have a place in the writing world. Personally, I use completely different styles of writing in different settings. When I write an e-mail, letter, or even a text message I use a conversational tone. I joke around with my audience, use sarcasm, and never use proper grammar. I usually only use a conversational writing style when writing something personal because I try to act very professional in both a business and academic setting. When I write an essay, memo, professional e-mail or letter, I use an academic and professional tone. In these types of writing I always check my spelling and focus on my sentence construction to try and avoid run-on sentences and comma splices. There are exceptions to each of these categories; for example in this class I try to focus more on creativity and less on the impeccable use of the English language to fit in with the styles the rest of my classmates use when writing their essays and presentations.

I often vary my writing style and voice to improve my chances of obtaining a goal. Similarly to the imitation exercises above, voice can change even if the content does not. When I try to obtain a goal, like when I ask for something such as money I vary my voice to improve my success. When I ask my dad for money I usually give him a sad story about why I need the money, make excuses, and say please a lot, without forgetting the sad, starving college kid eyes. When asking for a grant this summer at my job, I laid out the points for why I deserved the money, the plans I had for the money, and of course I tried to look professional and instead of saying please, I thanked the board for their consideration. In these two instances the content is the same, but the style and the way I deliver my material changed

NEED TRANSITION

Contrary to what many of the students in this class believe, to have a good voice does not always mean loud, fast-paced, and humorous, it often can simply mean persuasive, subtle, and grammatically correct. A writer does not need to write in all CAPS, use the bold and underline function, or uh, like write in a totally conversational tone (or use way too many parenthetical statements). These tactics can make papers look unintelligent and make it difficult to interpret what the paper is really about. Often times, simply proofreading a paper and having good word choice can be great voice and can be more successful in persuading an audience. Although voice is effected by your personality, your personality does not have to be riddled on the page to have good voice. Humor, sarcasm, and tone can all make a paper better, but to go overboard can often lead to a jumbled, indecipherable paper.

            Although many writers have a preferred writing style and genre, all writers have to explore different voices and different material. Whether by choice or by force, most writers have experience using the written language for a number of different purposes including grocery lists, diaries, essays, or their gen-ed biology homework. Although some bland and mundane, every writer and person uses a different style to complete these tasks. Voice can change any written word to match the personal style of the writer regardless of the content. Your voice is not the content you are writing all writers would benefit from exploring different genres and types of writing. Voice and content can often affect one another; a writer’s choice of words can make the writers opinions obvious regardless of the topic. Similarly to a good debater, good writers should be able to write on any topic regardless of their opinions and biases. Content and voice are two separate entities; a great writer can write on any subject using any style.

            Writers should not be constricted to those strict of limitations through imitation, teachers, and a sense a self, writers should learn to write in a variety of styles on a variety of topics. In writing, a person should be able to express anything they choose in any manner they wish. Whether for pragmatic reasons, such as getting a better grade on a paper, or to creatively explore how someone else would think about or write about a topic, it is advantageous for a writer to have the ability to leave their soul out of their work and simply use a good voice to write an interesting paper.

English 319

Dr. Sarah Allen

Word Count:

Too Much Self

It is obvious by the stress writers, professors, and readers put on the subject of voice that it is very important to the creation of interesting, attention-grabbing writing. Although everyone agrees that voice is essential, the concept of voice can often be confusing and indefinable. It is difficult to decide what voice is, where voice is learned, and what constitutes a good voice. Many writers have weighed in on their opinion of voice, Peter Elbow, for example, believes that voice is essential to good writing and that it should be the soul, or self, of the writer without the influence of society and teachers. In this sense, I completely disagree with Elbow; voice is simply the style a writer uses to construct their writing, not their soul being translated onto the paper. Writers can, and should, have many different voices depending on their content. Voice is what makes writing interesting, the word choice, syntax, and sentence structure a writer chooses to use is what grabs the reader’s attention and holds it.

 Writer’s voices vary based upon their field of study, their personality, and the way they were taught to write. Style not only varies between writers, but also between the different works of an individual author. A well-rounded, adept writer should be able to change their writing to appeal to their audience. In the following section, I will imitate a section of Harry G. Frankfurt’s book On Truth. I will imitate the same piece twice, using two completely different voices, proving that the same writer can use multiple voices.

Imitation #1

            Spinoza’s believes that, a person has an intimate attachment to the objects that are believed to be the cause of their contentment without causing the loss or compromise of their fundamental nature. Frankfurt agrees with Spinoza’s assessment, he adheres to these ideals believing that people love the objects which help them find their sense of self. According to Spinoza, a person therefore will attempt to protect and maintain these objects upon which they bestow their love to further their happiness. 

Imitation #2

            People love what makes them happy (duh). We’ll do anything to keep being happy, so we watch over these people, things, or even thoughts and keep them safe. We know which things we love because they make us who we are inside and make us special. We also try to keep these things near us so they can make us happy all the time. The guy who thought of these ideas, Spinoza, seems to be pretty smart, Frankfurt thinks so too.

            The two imitations above are completely different; one has a conversational tone, the other an academic tone. Both paragraphs have the same content, but appeal to completely different audiences. The two voices I used both have a place in the writing world. Personally, I use completely different styles of writing in different settings. When I write an e-mail, letter, or even a text message I use a conversational tone. I joke around with my audience, use sarcasm, and never use proper grammar. I usually only use a conversational writing style when writing something personal because I try to act very professional in both a business and academic setting. When I write an essay, memo, professional e-mail or letter, I use an academic and professional tone. In these types of writing I always check my spelling and focus on my sentence construction to try and avoid run-on sentences and comma splices. There are exceptions to each of these categories; for example, in this class I try to focus more on creativity and less on the impeccable use of the English language to fit in with the styles the rest of my classmates use when writing their essays and presentations.

I often vary my writing style and voice to improve my chances of obtaining a goal. Similarly to the imitation exercises above, voice can change even if the content does not. When I try to obtain a goal, like when I ask for something such as money, I vary my voice to improve my success. When I ask my dad for money I usually give him a sad story about why I need the money, make excuses, and say please a lot, without forgetting the sad, starving college kid eyes. When asking for a grant this summer at my job, I laid out the points for why I deserved the money, the plans I had for the money, and of course I tried to look professional and instead of saying please, I thanked the board for their consideration. In these two instances the content is the same, but the style and the way I deliver my material changed. The same is true in writing, my voice changes drastically between everything I write based on my audience, personality, and objective.

            Based on the previous examples it is easy to see that good voice varies. Contrary to what many of the students in this class believe, to have a good voice does not always mean loud, fast-paced, and humorous, it often can simply mean persuasive, subtle, and grammatically correct. A writer does not need to write in all CAPS, use the bold and underline function, or uh, like write in a totally conversational tone (or use way too many parenthetical statements). These tactics can make papers look unintelligent and make it difficult to interpret what the paper is really about. Often times, simply proofreading a paper and having good word choice can be great voice and can be more successful in persuading an audience. Although voice is affected by your personality, your personality does not have to be riddled on the page to have good voice. Humor, sarcasm, and tone can all make a paper better, but to go overboard can often lead to a jumbled, indecipherable paper.

            Although many writers have a preferred writing style and genre, all writers have to explore different voices and different material. Whether by choice or by force, most writers have experience using the written language for a number of different purposes including grocery lists, diaries, essays, or their gen-ed biology homework. Although some bland and mundane, every writer and person uses a different style to complete these tasks. Voice can change any written word to match the personal style of the writer regardless of the content. Your voice is not the content you are writing, all writers would benefit from exploring different genres and types of writing. Voice and content can often affect one another; a writer’s choice of words can make the writers opinions obvious regardless of the topic. Similarly to a good debater, good writers should be able to write on any topic regardless of their opinions and biases. Content and voice are two separate entities; a great writer can write on any subject using any style.

            Peter Elbow believes that the voice is the writers “self” and should be the deepest core of the writer without the influence of society and teachers, but he is wrong. Writers should not be constricted to those strict of limitations, through imitation, teachers, and a sense a self, writers should learn to write in a variety of styles on a variety of topics. In writing, a person should be able to express anything they choose in any manner they wish. Whether for pragmatic reasons, such as getting a better grade on a paper, or to creatively explore how someone else would think about or write about a topic, it is advantageous for a writer to have the ability to leave their soul out of their work and simply use a good voice to write an interesting paper.

Dr. A

Eng 319

WC: 1,325

The journey that a young writer experiences is one which must be finely tuned through imperative media such as teaching, life-experience and trial and error. A good writer will be able to take a blank piece of parchment and transform it into a well-refined and readable piece of literature. As with any other discipline, good writing stems from a multitude of sources and experiences, both large and small. Some of the more prominent sources may be a class, a teacher, parent or literary work. Such experiences can shape the writing style and talent of a burgeoning writer. Several such experiences jump to my mind when thinking of my own writing career, but none have been more influential than the short story that I wrote following my reading of Catcher in the Rye. J.D. Salinger presented an amazing work of art which showed me that writing did not have to follow such strict rules. Only through this epiphany was I able to channel my true writer’s instinct and begin my path towards becoming a quality writer.

            Prior to reading Catcher in the Rye, I felt that all writing had to be rigidly constructed in the form of classical, romantic or Victorian writing. Literature seemed dry and indecipherable, with flowery words hiding the message of the work. I have since grown to appreciate the classic works of Byron, Wilde and Homer, but during my formative writing years it was the work of Salinger which kept my interest in literature. The up-front and critical writing style used in the book, placing the main character, Holden Caulfield, in situations which any teenager can relate, amazed me and captivated my attention. And while few teenagers choose a similar path to Caulfield’s, the book provides a unique viewpoint to the human soul. It was this style which intrigued me and allowed me to advance my style and become a writer who could express my thoughts clearly and concisely. Following my reading of the book I decided that I should attempt to create my own work of fiction which illustrated both the trials and tribulations of a teenager, and that attempted to bring more subtle issues such as race, class and gender into its pages. The style which most intrigued me was during the book’s description of the abysmal movie which Holden had seen. His rambling and seemingly digressing thoughts flowed so well for me, and I could only dream of writing a review or any kind of piece with such amazing ability. With the world of writing newly opened to my teenage self, I looked to my own experiences for motivation. I started by keeping a journal to collect my thoughts and refine my writing. I had never had any kind of regard for literary rules, frequently misusing simple writing rules such as affect and effect, whether and weather and my most difficult demon to conquer, anxious and eager. In addition, my punctuation and misuse of apostrophes marred my writing and made clutter and inconsistency commonplace.

            However, as I began to strive towards literary achievement, my writing began to slowly improve. I stayed behind after class and received my teacher’s criticisms and suggestions. My father, a lawyer with a penchant for writing, helped refine my style, reading my essays and personal writings and offering his suggestions and advice. My journal entries began to delve past my thoughts of the day, problems with boys, and frustrations with my parents. I started to muse about deeper meanings of life. Thoughts about religion, politics and human interaction began to fill both my mind and my journal. And while I often wrote about them in a very objective and academic style, the way in which I was writing slowly transformed. In truth, I always preferred writing a history paper which was entirely in the third person to a personal paper which included my outright opinion. I reveled in my newfound ability to insert my opinion into a paper which did not ask for my personal belief. An example of this may be if I were given a paper that tasked me with discussing the controversial issue of gun control. I would attempt to present both sides equally and use quality research while still crafting my words to more favorably represent one side. An example of this may be as follows: While there is no doubt that firearms which are unregulated pose a threat to communities across America, the right to self-defense supercedes the futile efforts to disarm criminals. As long as guns are kept by responsible men and women, their dangers can be negated by simple education and common sense. This argument is not done by inserting an unsubstantiated opinion that is placed in first-person, but by attempting to have the reader look disinterestedly at my argument and see it as scholarly.

            The pinnacle of my high-school writing career began during the winter of my junior year. I was home during my school’s winter break and was disappointed that the vast majority of my friends were traveling to tropical vacations and I was stuck in Fort Collins. With the typical dramas of high school having occurred during the previous semester, I was left to my thoughts about unfair coaches, conniving friends and heartless boys. I had had innumerable fights with my parents about minor things such as driving and curfew. I felt that my cheerleading coach possessed an unreasonable grudge against me. Several of my supposed friends had formed a vendetta against me for unknown reasons. And the boy for whom I felt undying affection barely recognized me in the hallway. I was neither depressed nor unhappy, but I felt that in order to bring a sense of balance and understanding I should write a short story that dealt both with the kind of issues I was facing as well as larger issues that I had grown to understand. As I sat at my ancient computer, trying to drown out the screams of my sisters as they argued over who would get the first shower, I began to collect my thoughts. It was slightly intimidating as I stared at my blank document, hoping that a suitable introduction to my story, or even an inspired title, would formulate in my mind. I slowly began to tell the story of Jennifer, a 17-year-old girl who lived in suburban St. Louis. I set her up much in the same style, as did Salinger, though with poorer results. She was a conflicted and confused young woman who was being perpetually pushed by her mother to follow in her businesswoman footsteps. She had troubles with fitting in with her friends at school, was terrified around the opposite sex, and had few people she could confide in. She felt as though she was betraying her parents by wishing to be a photographer. Slowly, she built a friendship with a shy black boy named Teddy. She and Teddy discussed life and the choices all people must make. The story ends with the two of them running away, going to Mexico in order to fulfill their dreams.

            While this story was not a piece of great or revolutionary literature, it gave me more confidence in my writing than I had ever possessed before. I felt that my writing had achieved a level where I could effectively communicate with those around me, and that I could use writing as an outlet for my emotions. I can only hope that as I progress through my life that my writing will continue to serve me as a way to express myself. And while I may not want to be a best-selling author or a professional writer, being able to communicate with fellow human beings is a skill that transcends jobs or affiliations.

.

Model: If one must worship a bully, it is better that he should be a policeman than a gangster.

Imitation: Although all of the Power Rangers are tough, it is obvious the Pink Ranger is stronger and smarter than the rest.

Model: To have even a portion of this illuminated reason and true philosphy is the highest state to which nature can aspire, in the way of intellect.

Imitation: To create the banner for Homecoming is the most mundane task of the entire week, concerning Greek Life.

Model: The real art that dealt with life directly was that of the first men who told their stories round the savage campfire.

Imitation: The best time to be had in college is friends creating memories.

Model: He went through the narrow alley of Temple Bar quickly, muttering to himself that they could all go to hell because he was having a good night of it.

Variation: "Go to hell," he muttered to himself as he passed quickly through the narrow alley of Temple Bar. He was having a good night of it.

Alternate: Muttering to himself, he paced through the alley of Temple Bar quickly, he wanted them all to go to hell, he was going to have a good night of it.

Essay 1

Word Count: 1,209

The Importance of Presentation in Reaching Your Audience

My father has always told me that one of the most important things in life is presentation. When I was a little girl I would get in trouble for whining and screaming to get my way; after I calmed down, my father would explain to me that people would be more likely to listen to me if I presented myself more positively. My dad, a lawyer, implanted the belief in me that without changing anything but my presentation I would be much more successful in my endeavors, and in life. This lesson has been life-changing for me. Learning from my father’s advice, I stopped throwing temper-tantrums and learned to express my desires politely and eloquently. More recently, I have applied the same techniques when asking teachers for higher grades, bosses for raises, and when I go on important job interviews. I have also transcended his lesson into my academic endeavors. Proper presentation in my writing has helped me to focus on my audience so my work is well-received and enjoyable. In order to produce this kind of quality writing a writer must have an audience that appreciates reading his work. Although the importance of audience and presentation is debated by composition scholars, the fact remains that writing holds no worldly importance without adequate presentation.

            Peter Elbow discusses his opinions about how being a writer is preferential in his piece, “Being a Writer vs. Being an Academic: A Conflict in Goals.” One of the differences Elbow points out between the two positions is the importance of audience. He argues that writers need time away from their readers to improve their writing, just like parents sometimes need time away from their children.[1] Writers, according to Elbow, should take time to write only for themselves without considering their potential readers. Elbow advocates for a classroom without teachers where children use freewriting exercises to improve their writing. These specialized freewriting exercises focus on continuity of thought and prohibit any stopping or editing of the student’s writing. These exercises try to encourage creativity and voice and lift writer’s block by allowing students to simply write what is on their mind.[2] However, these exercises also encourage bad writing behavior from students such as misspellings, poor grammar, and rambling, run-on sentences.

The sole purpose of Elbow’s freewriting exercises is to encourage thought and expand their writing potential, but this is something that could be accomplished by a class discussion, topic list, or simply thinking in a different direction. While practicing writing is a necessity in order to become a proficient writer, the practice should be in crafting comprehensible and quality writings, not incoherent drivel. Freewriting encourages bad habits in writing and sets a mental precedent that allows grave mistakes in the work. Students should instead spend their time practicing writing quality work on a variety of topics. This writing does not have to be stringently structured and stifle creativity; it can be in the form of essays, stories, poetry, scripts or anything the student can think of. In elementary school, I hated writing structured work; in third grade, I wrote a “recipe book” with the ingredients I believed were necessary to live a happy life. My work was always creative and expressed my thoughts and whims, but it was also edited, coherent, and each piece I wrote improved my proficiency in writing.

 Good teachers are necessary to teach students how to use their writing to address their audience, a challenge for a writer of any age. Without being able to manipulate their audience, students are unable to write sufficiently for their teachers, and professional writers are unable to find a publisher. Writing only for yourself may be useful in the form of a journal or grocery list, but unless you are Anne Frank or have a nosy little brother, your personal writing will not hold any importance after you remember to pick up your milk and eggs. Journaling may allow you to de-stress after a long day or vent about an over-bearing boss, but contrary to the thoughts of Peter Elbow, it does not make you a better writer. If a writer wants to hold lasting importance and have their work read, taught, and reviewed they must write something that an audience would enjoy and could relate to. If a writer does not learn how to do this, through teachers and experience, they will never find success in either the writing or academic realm.

            Writers need to be taught many different techniques to present their writing well and please their audience. One of the most important and irrefutable skills a writer needs to possess is proper spelling and grammar. No audience, especially an educated audience, wants to read something that is poorly-written and indecipherable. The well-respected and well-known writer David Bartholomae writes about revising his own work in “Against the Grain.”[3] Bartholomae writes that he still does a lot of revision in his own work, completely changing his writing between the first draft and the second. Bartholomae says that before he learned to revise his work he had great ideas, but he did not present them well, his dissertation was even rejected because it was written poorly.[4] Teaching students to revise their work will instill good habits and make their writing easier to understand and less distracting. But to Bartholomae, revision is much more than fixing simple grammar and hitting the spell-check key. Students also need to learn how to make their writing more convincing and more interesting. To excel in their writing, students need to improve their word-choice, hone their ideas into arguments, and use their voice to make their writing attention-grabbing and persuasive. Many scholars discuss the importance of voice, but personal voice needs to be tailored to make writing more readable. Great writers are like salesmen; they must use their voice to interest the buyer, craft their arguments convincingly, and speak eloquently in order to sound refined and educated. All of these elements combined persuade buyers, and readers, that what is being stated is true, important, and worth their time. Neither a teacher nor a publisher will praise or purchase a work which is poorly constructed and uninteresting.

            To be considered a good writer in the academy, among the community of writers, and according to the public a writer needs to possess a multitude of qualities. To impress the academy writers need to have an impeccable writing style, good grammar and word choice and unfaltering spelling. To be accepted by other writers a writer needs to have new ideas, a creative approach, and a convincing argument or story. Most importantly, to be read by the public, a writer needs to possess the quality of being a clear, comprehensible, and enjoyable writer. This skill does not come from unrestricted ramblings which teach bad habits, but from practicing good writing skills in all writing situations. All writings which intend to benefit your writing style and ability should follow the rules of good writing. Freewriting can be effective, but only if used to improve writing styles and techniques. Successful, impactful writers learn to present their writing in a way which will please their audience, the truest test of a good writer.